Aunt Nancy's Place

Why the Yale murder is like Dirty Dancing

2009-09-15T18:50:00.000-07:00

As of this writing, 9-15-9, the mystery surrounding the death of the Yale student lies more with motivation than with the alleged killer.

It is a tragedy and it is an Ivy League school and people will argue that her death is important because of that. I am not writing to disagree with how it is more tragic when pretty people die or how bad things shouldn't happen to rich or famous people. I am just pointing out how topical it is.

Patrick Swayze died a mere two or three days ago, depending on what time it is. Patrick Swayze is famous for the classic and timeless Dirty Dancing. While Dirty Dancing (DD) may seem like a vehicle for Patrick's incredible dancing, it is foremost a statement on class struggle and family summer camp culture in the middle of the previous century. It is hard to know what century it is because it is always ahead of the actual calendar date..

The alleged killer of the Yale Victim (YV) could be the janitor at the lab where YV studied. Imagine a boy growing up in the sooty factory town on the outskirts of Yale, whatever city or state that may be.
He is smart and studious and gets great grades. Unfortunately, his family, although settled in this country since the previous century, never realized the American Dream because of the color of their skin or the red hair and freckles or whatever. They can't send him to the Yale he dreams of. Alleged Killer ends up going to Junior College where he is taken advantage of by a teacher's assistant in exchange for a grilled cheese sandwich.
The teacher's assistant (t.a.) gets pregnant and the alleged killer (AK) has to quit school to pay child support. AK gets a job at the Yale lab as a janitor and sees YV come in to study, night after night, like he would have if he had half a chance.
He learns that her family is first generation American, but because her family has connections and she was so pretty and petite, she got the scholarship and the nice pocketbook and the open doors. And here is where it is just like DD and just the opposite. Like Patrick Swayze, AK is constantly being seduced by the rich girls, just because he is "dangerous." But when the season is over, those girls go back to their rich, girly-sweatered boys.
Here is where it is different. Patrick Swayze says that nobody puts Baby in the corner. AK puts Baby in the wall.

2009-05-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

I don’t consider Melrose Place to be a soap opera. It was Fictional Documentary exploring the culture and architecture of a post-90210 Los Angeles society as well as a morality tale. It also takes a page from Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City, but more heterosexual.

Kimberly is every bit as real as Heather Locklear’s character, Amanda. It was interesting that Kimberly lived in the Beach House where you would expect to find someone of Heather’s social status. But the Beach House was without character and charm, befitting Kimberly. Heather was nuanced. There were many sides to her and she could take your breath away when she needed to. The Melrose Place enclave was perfect for Locklear. It was small and lovely, like her, yet much was brewing inside the doors.

It is notable that when the doctor split from Jane and went from being a good guy to being a cad, he moved into the Beach House. The Melrose Place apartments represent a modern day Garden of Eden from which Dr. Mancini was expelled. When the prostitute with the heart of gold went bad, she moved into the Beach House. The Beach House doesn’t necessarily represent hell, but it is interesting that although Kimmie blew the place up, it rose again and flourished. Good triumphed over evil.

There are other biblical references, such as evil Reed and evil Brooke both getting the ultimate baptism. How about Daphne sacrificing her child? I’m not sure if this refers to King Solomon or Abraham. That should be the next trivia question.

Mugraby Hostel in Tel Aviv

2009-01-08T06:56:00.000-08:00

Do not make a reservation here. They took our deposit and gave away our rooms. Mugraby Hostel is bad man.

Poll

2008-12-01T18:28:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/salmundo1

Mum The Siege of Mumbai

2008-11-29T09:24:00.000-08:00

Mum - The seige of the Taj Majal

Skippy, played by Johnny Depp is at a friend's house watching tv, drinking beer with a friend, played by Ed Norton. Norton is a current CIA operative. Skippy used to be a CIA spy but quit a year ago because he didn't like the politics. News of the Mumbai attacks come on the tv. They watch, transfixed.

A day later, Skippy gets a call from Norton. He says," I have a high profile friend who needs help. I can't help him, but you were the best." He tells Skippy to meet his friend at a Super 8 motel right off the Jersey Expressway. Skippy waits in the room for a while and watches mores scenes from Mumbai.

A knock at the door. He lets in Brad Pitt. Pitt is playing himself. Pitt explains the problem. His wife, Angelina Jolie, played by herself, is in Mumbai. At the Taj Majal Hotel! Pitt doesn't want anyone to find out she's there. He is afraid the terrorists will come after her because of her high profile and the fact that she played Daniel Pearl's (jew) wife in a movie of similar intrigue.

The Indians already indicated they do not want American help. Jolie is holed up in a luxurious suite with her half-dozen or so children. Pitt has been texting her. He has convinced her to sit tight and wait for Skippy. She said, "what kind of name is Skippy?" While he is texting Jolie, Depp gets a text from his girlfriend. She is going on about jokey names for a movie based on the attacks. He texts back, saying he might have a really good name but also tells her that he has to go to Maryland to see his mother for a couple days. She gets mad and texts him something nasty , a picture of her butt , and says, say "goodbye to this", because she doesn't believe him.

Skippy asks Pitt, "Why me?" Pitt replies, "Your friend says you're the best. You aren't with the CIA anymore so nobody else needs to know. If nobody else knows you are going, nobody is coming to your rescue and my wife will still have a chance." He also thinks Skippy can pass as a native because of his exotic good looks. Skippy doesn't understand the logic but he does understand the briefcase full of cash and gift cards.

Pitt goes on to explain that Jolie is in Mumbai to look for a new orphan to adopt. She hasn't found any and was soon to leave.

We see some TV news scenes of the other sites of terror including the Jewish Center and the other hotel. The news anchor is being played by Antonio Banderas.

Skippy leaves that night on a chartered plane that allows him to remain heavily armed. Skippy gets to Mumbai, sneaks through all the security, smoke, fire, bad guys, etc and gets to Jolie's room. There is a big scene trying to convince her to unbarricade the room. She can't and he has to break through an adjoining wall. Its quite an ordeal to get her and the kids to the basement kitchen of the hotel and into an awaiting suv.

Safely back in New York, we see Angelina and Brad leave the Chabad Lubavitcher house, carrying the orphaned son of the Rabbi that got killed. The child's name is Moishe, but Brangelina call him "mumy."

An old story

2008-11-16T18:31:00.000-08:00

Top Ten Reasons I don't have a lot of sympathy for .....bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

1. He chose to be the son of a crack ho. I didn't make him be one.

2. We all have problems. I didn't have an easy life growing up. Sure, my
dad had some money. He was a Captain of Industry. But my mother died when
I was young. That left my dad to reason the seven of us alone.

We had a friggin parade of in-home day care providers. They were usually
quite strict and sometimes abusive. Also, when we were children, I thought
it was normal, but my father would summon us to dinner or other events by
using a whistle, as if we were animals or something.

My father was very politically active in some mysterious ventures that I
still don't understand. He was often away for weeks at a time.

Our house was run like a boot camp and we were not even allowed to sing in
the house. At one point, in my adolescence, I considered suicide. I had
been depressed for a long time.

I believe what saved my was our new au paire. She had been involved in
some kind of Christian cult, but was having doubts and had left the
compound and sought employment in our household.

As I mentioned, I was suicidal. I was also considering an elopement with
a UPS delivery man that came to our house a lot. She talked me in to
putting this plan on the backburner since I was still 16, soon to turn 17.

She kind of cheered up the whole household with her upbeat nature. Things
turned sour when my father brought some rich bimbo home and started
talking about marriage.

Our live-in daycare provider, Mary, got a bit jealous. I think she had the
hots for dad. Well, I know she did, in retrospect. Anyway, she went back
to the cult compound for a while.

The bimbo left and Mary came back. Dad started noticing Mary and boomba
boomba boom, they got married. We got a new stepmother. She also happened
to play guitar and the whole family formed a band. We called ourselves the
Moyed Family Singers.
Perhaps you've heard of us.

Anyway, my whole point is, we all have rough childhoods. When you have a
problem, try to think of some of your favorite things, and then everything
will be okay.

Nancy

Slackjaw - The Book Review

2007-06-25T09:44:00.000-07:00

I recently finished reading Slackjaw. I was intrigued by the back cover. It was supposedly written by a man who went blind, Jim Knipfel . The picture of the author reminded me of this guy I went out with in college. If the author was telling the truth about anything, there is no way it could be the same person I knew.

The guy I knew was Bob. Now, Bob lied a lot too, but they aren't even close enough in age to be the same person, so obviously someone is lying. But they both wore a silly hat. I could excuse the blind guy, but he started wearing the hat long before he lost his eyesight. Bob was just an ass.

What I was looking for was a "behind the scenes" look at blindness. Apparently it is a secretive society because once he adjusted to his handicap, the book ended. So I would say to anyone who reads my review, don't read it outloud. If you aren't willing to share your world, it goes back double the same.

Local Drainage Issues

2007-06-24T06:36:00.000-07:00

There are so many complicated solutions for drainage. I think we overlook the simplificastic solution. Send our liquid to the sun aboard the space shuttles and we will get it all back in the form of rain. The advantage to this is that we will get more rainbows. That's how the ancient Greeks did it.

Mexico is much colder than I thought.

2007-05-06T21:52:00.000-07:00

What Did Eva Eat? or How To Control Carpenter Bees

2007-04-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

Every year we have to contend with carpenter bees outside our house and our garage. I tried using sprays and they didn't work. I'm trying to be more "green" now, but that's not the true reason I stopped spraying. But officially, that's why. The true reason is that the sprays didn't work. If they did work, I didn't see an immediate kill.

I started using a tennis racket to kill them. It is fairly effective because the open lattice avoids an air thrust that would alert the prey. It is best to take a swing right at the face as it moves forward. The "thwack" sound is satisfying and it lands nearby. You have to smash it into the ground repeatedly to finish the job. Also, don't let your kids lick the racket later on, especially if you use the spray to slow the bees down for the swing.
This past weekend, when I was bragging to my husband about my good stats, and had the bugs lined up in a row on the porch to count cou, he acted like, "there she goes again. At least she has some mishegas so she's not nagging me." He didn't say it, but I could tell.

I looked it up the on the internet and found a lot of references to "bee tennis." I pointed out to my husband that it is an accepted method that even several agricultural extension people say helps keep down the carpenter bee population. He said he didn't know what an agricultural extension even was. I said, "You know, like the guy on Green Acres that gave Oliver advice about the farm?" He remembered him and then I started wondering about that guy and looked him up. It was Hank Kimball.

Then I started looking up other important facts about Green Acres and found out Eva Gabor died of respiratory failure as a result of food poisoning. It is ironic because her character on the show was known to be a bad cook. In fact, when I have car trouble I often think about the episode where her pancake cutouts were used to fix the truck.

Everywhere I looked on the internet, it said the same thing about respiratory failure from food poisoning. I would really like to know what she ate that killed her. I want to avoid eating whatever it was. If anyone knows, please let me know. I will warn everyone.

Christmas With The Dunlaps

2007-04-12T16:29:00.000-07:00

Traditionally, we eat the Christmas Tree after New Years Eve.

Travel Update

2007-04-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

Spring Break in San Francisco
Don't Go!
I went to San Francisco for Spring Break. It is the worst beach in Mexico.
I did find an statue of Stephan Leonoudakis though.

More about Coffee at Borders

2006-09-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

Update on Borders Coffee.
2-18-8
Nothing has changed. The faces may be a little different. The piercings may have become more infected, but the style of service is the same. What is with these kids? The coffee is no good. They are too busy looking at their reflections in various shiny things to come take orders promptly. I asked for a bagel with butter. The guy just took it upon himself to toast it without asking. I don't want my bagel toasted. It hurts. He could have asked. How hard is that? What, he can't talk to grown ups?

I just wanted to reaffirm my opinion of the service at Borders.
My son and I went to Borders Books because we cashed in a bunch of change at a Coinstar. If you aren't willing to let the machine take a cut,you can choose a gift card. We had 48 dollars worth of change from cleaning the house, so we got a Borders gift card.

We got some books. I got one about the Dustbowl called The Worst Bad Time, or something like that. Then we went to the coffee counter. There were two people behind the counter. They saw us, but they were involved in a really awesome conversation,so we waited. Eventually one Barrista, or Barristo, or whatever the boy coffee pumpers are called, came near the register. I said, "Can you take our order?"

He responded, "Wow, I don't know if I dreamed some lady ordered a cup of coffee, or if it was real. I made the cup of coffee but I don't know what to do." I said, "Well, if you wait a while, she'll get mad and come to the counter, then you'll know if it was a dream or not." Then he walked away, but a lady came to the counter and he realized it was real and gave her the coffee.

I asked again if he could take my order. He said, "I don't know what I'm doing. They just fired everyone and I'm the only one here." (There was actually someone else behind the counter as well.) I asked again if I could order, and he said he was ready now.

I order two coffees and a brownie. He gave me the coffee and rang me up. I asked for the brownie a couple more times. He rang that up, and gave it to me. Obviously it was really difficult for him, so I didn't make a fuss.

I saw that there was a tip mug next to the register, but I thought it must be a dream, so I disregarded it. I didn't think he was using his money in a productive way and I didn't want to contribute to whatever it was that made him so crappy.

New Books

2006-08-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

Paper Wings was good. Author info to follow soon. Better yet, look it up on Amazon.
Review to follow soon.

Book Review -- About Grace

2006-02-12T08:35:00.000-08:00

About Grace
Author Unknown. (The book is upstairs. I will update author information later when I go upstairs. I don't want to break the flow right now.)

This book starts out good. And by start out, I mean the back cover of the book. The guy lives in Alaska and has dreams that predict the future. I love books that have the person with a special power. But mostly this guy has nothing going on. He has a handful or less of these Special Dreams. They are mostly irrelevant to the plot.

The writer obviously knows a lot of stuff about water molecules and the book is mainly an excuse to show off that particular knowledge. And clouds, he knows what all kinds of clouds are called. Whoopie. "I was walking to the minimart and oh! there goes a subglomulous-semi-cirrhius cloud in blue winter sky." I'm all like, "Christ, can we hear about which direction the swirl went on the Sweet-Frostie you bought?"

I feel like kicking this author's ass. You can tell he thought he was writing literature. But, as I often say, just because its boring doesn't mean its art.

I bought the book for the magic and the fact that the snowflakes on the front cover look a lot like one of my blankets. The magic part was a rip-off. I can only blame my own poor judgement for the blanket thing.

I ordered the blanket on-line, and like more than half the things I have gotten online, it was not a disappointment. Ironically, I bought the book in a real bookstore.

At the movies (in my room)

2005-07-12T04:37:00.000-07:00

Update on Finding Neverland: It was just okay. There was no nudity. There could have been, but there wasn't. Don't waste your money at the theater. I rented it and you could too.

Movie Review - Melvin goes to Dinner

2004-12-19T19:14:00.000-08:00

I saw the movie this afternoon on the "on demand" thing on tv. I can only use that feature on the big living room tv. It doesn't work on all the other tv's. Just the big one. Go figure.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I got the name right. It is some movie title with a guy with an old-timey name and something about dinner. It has a lot to do with a dinner conversation. It was an easily accessible pseudo-intelligent conversation, so I could pretty much follow it without getting a headache.

The men were not good-looking, but they were not so ugly as to be distracting. There was a waitress that was way more inept and non-people-personish than I ever was, so that was comforting. There was generous drinking involved.

The smart nurse with the drinking problem on ER played the sister of one of the diners. I don't think she is a nurse in real life, and she did not play one in this movie.
The bill sat at the table for a long time and I was very curious about who was going to pay for it. I can't tell you what happened to the bill because I decided to go to Target for a few items and didn't see the end.

I spent more than I thought I would at Target, but it was all stuff that I needed except who really needs pink fishnet tights? Maybe I do. I have what to wear with them, so yes, I do need them.

Movie Review - Sideways

2004-12-08T17:19:00.000-08:00

"Sideways" is a movie that I saw while it was still at the movies. I'm glad I saw that, as opposed to spending money on a crappier movie that I could wait for on dvd, or someone else paying my way.

This was a funny movie with a lot of drinking. It made me feel like having a drink. I actually did have a few drinks since I've seen the movie. Well, its been a couple weeks, so you can imagine that I've had quite a few since then.

It was a "buddies on the road" flick where one guy is good looking and the other isn't.
The good looking one wasn't super hot but the less attractive one was so shi*ty looking that is was easy to be the hot one.

The hot one used to be on a tv show that didn't last too long. He played a man. And he was living with, or married to a woman. They didn't like each other but for two stupid tv reasons, they had to be married. Of course, the sexual tension of working together on tv increased over the couple of seasons the show lasted and you know. It was like Nanny, but not as side-splitting.

The other guy was someone I kind of forgot. I know I've seen him play unattractive characters before but I don't remember where. I could look him up, but then that would take away from the review's authenticity.

There was a famous actress in the movie, but not so famous that I remember her name.
I'll stop here before I give away the whole thing.

Movie Review- Polar Express

2004-12-05T17:37:00.000-08:00

I saw this movie recently so I would rather not comment. It would be unfair to those who have not seen it, since my review would be biased by the experience.

Jonny Depp's new movie

2004-12-03T16:28:00.000-08:00

Johnny Depp has a movie coming out called something like, "Looking For" or "Searching For" - "Neverland."
He plays the guy who wrote Peter Pan. Although there is no out and out S.E.X., there are many scenes where you can make out his form from the back. I can't really tell what's going on in the other area, but I can guess. I just think he is not a large man, although I doubt he's too small. I'm guessing it's something you don't have to really worry about. He makes up for it. You gals know what I'm saying.

Depp's character likes kids and takes an interest in some pretty lady's kids. I don't think it is an unhealthy pervaholic interest. It's just a man that's a little sensitive. I don't think he is too much like that in real life. Maybe a little, but I don't think he's a crier. I hate when men cry. If I wanted to be with someone that cried, I'd marry one of my own.

The boy in whom Depp takes a healthy and hetero interest has some problems. The problems are solved because Johnny provides him with something that was missing. Depp also spends time sitting on a bench in neatly creased pants and he is not wearing underwear, although there is no way of knowing.

I will be seeing this movie soon and if it differs in any way from the review, I will own up to it.

Four stars to Depp's performance. Three stars for the script.

Eating dinner

2004-10-26T16:52:00.000-07:00

Here's a tip for kids. If you are too full to eat any more chicken, then you are too full for ice cream.
Also, if you are gonna pee in bed, pee in your own bed. That's what it's for.

Runnin' for the bus

2004-10-05T17:03:00.000-07:00

I used to work downtown and the bus service in my town isn't so frequent, like say, a place with good bus service, etc. So, when I went to catch my bus, I had to run. I'm not much of a "keep yourself in shape and exercise and don't drink" kind of person. So I wasn't used to running.

Anyway, and I'm not saying this happened to me, but did this happen to you? Some people, and they know who they are, even if they don't say so, pass gas when they run. So that discourages those people from doing public exercise. I'm not even sure I'm spelling the word exercise right.
What goes on in the gyms if the gas thing is more common than I think. I'm staying out.

Looking for a doctor

2004-09-21T11:46:00.000-07:00

Can anyone give me the name of a good plastic surgeon? I would like to have my fifth (pinky) toe removed on each foot for cosmetic purposes. I don't know anyone around here that has had this extra toe removed.

It is probably a more "big city" kind of procedure. Nobody I talk to seems to care what their feet look like in a nice shoe. They have "more important things to worry about." Like what, I don't know.I think they do really care, but just don't want to face their flaws in an open and honest way. They'd rather be people who wear loafers all the time.

Cute things my six year old says and does

2004-09-20T18:13:00.000-07:00

This is something I can just keep adding to, I think.

9-20-4 Gabe was washing his face in the bathroom and he come out and said, "I want to be a bully. Maybe some deodorant will help me." Then he went back in the bathroom and came back out and told my 15 yr. old son, "You are ugly, that's why I put deodorant on, so I can be a bully."

Then he took a towel and wiped his armpits off and said, "I'm not a bully any more."

Promises Kept

2004-09-17T06:04:00.000-07:00

I didn't make any promises. It was a promise made by someone else to do negativation on me. I think my poem (below) explains everything.

Also, and this goes for everyone. If you use my toilet, after I've already told you it is low flow, and you see it is already compromised with toilet paper, at least try to clear that up before you do anything. Be especially mindful if you have something "important" to do.

Someone, who will remain nameless, did not heed this oft-stated advice and I had to deal with it. Not only that, I constantly remind people , or should I say, that person, to give a courtesly flush halfway through.

And that's all I'm going to say about this topic. Many of my detractors claim I talk too much about the bathroom.

Brains

2004-09-16T13:56:00.000-07:00

When you make a promise to a person, and that person is asking for that particular promise, it is fine to say you'll do it. But if the person asking for the promise happens to have all kinds of bleeding in the brain and the brain is becoming necrotic, the promise shouldn't stick after the person dies.

If someone makes such a request that would affect someone else's life in a negative way, and the financial well-being of their family, you should take into consideration that the requester was obviously not in his right mind.

20 months

2004-09-16T13:05:00.000-07:00

I am willing to write off the last 20 months of bad life, if only there was a promise that I'd get 20 extra at the end. I wish I could know now. That way I can decide not to be a bitter woman. I am perilously close to being one. It is very unattractive.

Menopause is winking at me and I'd really like to dive into that one with a light heart and good humor. I will write a little poem:

You would not want to be hated
And thought of like a slob
Stuck in my closet all cremated
Cause you messed up my job

You could be up there on the mantel
Where everyone could gaze
With knick knacks and a dusty candle
And some dead flowers in a vase

What you told him wasn't true
Those lies you told your friend
I was just trying to save you
From a reckless driving end

Give me a full time job please

2004-09-16T04:02:00.000-07:00

I want a full time job. I need a pension to look forward to while I suffer from the aging process. It would really cheer me up.

Archival Front page of old web page from way back when

2003-12-03T16:52:00.000-08:00

Pretty Aunt Nancy's Home Page

STOP, DROP AND SCROLL!!

A little bit about me: I am 3/4 Jewish and 1/4 Showbiz. Deal with it!

A cheap and easy way to child-proof your house: Get a couple of really big glue traps. Put cookies in them.

What do I look like?

You can find out why I hate my aunt.

Good News On The Health Front

There are people who are sexually turned on by colostomy bags. Any one of us might eventually need one. It's good to know that there is " a lid for every pot."

Someone also mentioned to me that for those who don't have the bag, but are in love with a colostomy lover, you can get a bag, take a crap in it, and glue it to your abdomen. Simple as pie and no fuss.

I've got my Aunt Assie visiting for the holidays, so look for an update shortly. Aunt Assie is quite the character.....Well, Aunt Assie left after a long, long stay. Her real name is Elsie, but nobody calls her that. She has a huge hindquarter. Hindhalf would be more appropriate. Not only that, but she doesn't wipe like you would want her to. I know, not just because I've been doing her laundry for weeks, but because she has a favorite spot on the sofa, and when I lay down on the sofa, I could almost faint from the "polite reminder".

Anyhow, she's gone and she'll be back, so I don't want to talk bad about her. But, over time, I will.

Starting the new year fresh on 12-29-99 at

Coffee News

I used to order lattes and cappuccinos when I was out at those kind of places where you do that. I don't bother anymore. I just say, "I'll have a cup of coffee." And then I put a few Equals and some cream in it. The lattes and cappuccinos just aren't that good when you have some minimum wage pimple faced bastard fixing it with no pride and probably he/she isn't even of legal age to drink coffee anyway. They never get it right and they charge almost three dollars for a gussied up cup of coffee in a pretty glass. What's the point. I'll just have a cup of coffee and I suggest you do the same, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

BASTARDS AT BORDERS

For some reason, I can't find the web page where I wrote bad things about the coffee jerks at Borders. But someone found it because she wrote me an angry e-mail. It was a poorly written missive telling me how smart she and her fellow coffee jerks are, and how they look down on the people who sit there and drink coffee. It was funny. I guess you have to read it. But you can't. I lost it. Also, I think she was under 18, and I don't want to be involved with minors on the internet in any way. I'm scared of laws.

My brief but concise explanation of Quantum Physics.

I almost hate to go to restaurants because I usually leave in a bad mood. It just seems like I attract bad service. I may be hypersensitive as most former waitpersons are. But I don't think that's it. It's been many years since I waited on tables and even back then I was more empathetic to the servers than to the customers.

I think it may be that the minimum wage was raised too high and they don't have to worry so much about tips. I don't know.

I recently saw a web page by a waitress who said we should automatically give twenty percent because the IRS taxes at that rate. I think she is incorrect, but even if it was true, so what. I wrote back the following:

Twenty percent is only for good service. We don't have to tip you according to your IRS problems. Take your whiny ass problems to the irs. We are not responsible for the Guvmint or for your employer. If you do a good job, and you don't and you know it, and you know who you are, you can have twenty percent, but you aren't entitled to twenty percent just because you call yourself a waitress, take my order and basically forget about me and the condiments I asked for.

I'll tell you what. When I get breakfast and coffee, and get a little cup of coffee and no refills, and I've hardly tucked into my breakfast, and I don't see my waitress until the check and tip time, my meal has been ruined and I got some bitch with her hand out.

To tell you the truth, I'd prefer if the waitress just said, at the beginning, "The coffee pot is over there. Just help yourself if I'm too busy (chatting with coworkers and flirting with the cook).

One Italian restaurant I frequent because of it's location is called *****. Our family always orders the same crap. And they never get it right. They bring out parts at a time. Like, my salad and then there's a long wait for the kids' food. We usually order breadsticks with roasted peppers. It's supposed to be together because you put the peppers on the soft breadsticks. So they bring out the bread or the peppers seperately and it's 20 minutes before they get the other thing out.

They hide in the kitchen so you can't find them. Sometimes I have to actually go to the service area to get my own sweet and low which I asked for with my iced tea.

There are a few restaurants in the area where the service is good but the staff invariably has B.O. It's very distracting.

Once I went to one of the B.O. restaurants by myself for lunch. I ate and left and was in my car about to start the ignition when the driver's side door opened. I screamed. The waiter was there with my sweater, telling me I forgot it. It was nice of him to come out, but a tap on the window would have been even nicer.

The thing that makes me the maddest is the end-of-the-meal-tip-shuffle. This is when the waiter who has been ignoring you throughout the meal starts sucking up right around your last bite of food. He's at your table ten times now to make sure everything is okay. Where was he when you wanted a fork and a coffee refill? Bastard!

I recently wrote a complaint on my webpage about Pier 1 Imports. In the complaint, I called the cashier a cash register whore. For expedience in complaining directly to Pier 1, I just copied what was on my web page and forgot to take out the word "whore." Don't anyone make this same mistake. I'm quite sure they won't be sending me any gift certificates.

THE PEOPLE THAT BROUGHT ME INTO THIS WORLD

In other news, my elderly parents bought a big car, as Jews their age are supposed to. So now they figure they have to take a long drive. It must be some concept they learned from the I Love Lucy gang driving to California. And you know how that turned out!

So they decided to drive up to Canada, but then the forecast called for rain. So they decided to go to New Orleans, but the forecast called for heat and humidity. The morning of their departure, they decided to drive to Michigan.

They only have ten days and I don't think they'll make it. They have to pull over every 30 minutes to use the bathroom and my mother won't drive because the car is too big. She wanted a big car because she had one when she was a teenager. But that was back when she could see over the steering wheel.

They have been fighting like dolphins and tuna for the last week, so I would like to be a fly on the wall of the car.

UPDATE

They made it back but they had a lousy time. They won't admit it was bad, but I can read between the lines.

mail Nancy Dunlap

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2003-12-01T17:08:00.000-08:00

Aunt Nancy's Place

Why the Yale murder is like Dirty Dancing

Mugraby Hostel in Tel Aviv

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An old story

Slackjaw - The Book Review

Local Drainage Issues

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What Did Eva Eat? or How To Control Carpenter Bees

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20 months

Give me a full time job please

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A little bit about me: I am 3/4 Jewish and 1/4 Showbiz. Deal with it!

A cheap and easy way to child-proof your house: Get a couple of really big glue traps. Put cookies in them.

You can find out why I hate my aunt.

Good News On The Health Front

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BASTARDS AT BORDERS

THE PEOPLE THAT BROUGHT ME INTO THIS WORLD

***UPDATE***

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UPDATE