Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Looking for a doctor

Can anyone give me the name of a good plastic surgeon? I would like to have my fifth (pinky) toe removed on each foot for cosmetic purposes. I don't know anyone around here that has had this extra toe removed.

It is probably a more "big city" kind of procedure. Nobody I talk to seems to care what their feet look like in a nice shoe. They have "more important things to worry about." Like what, I don't know.I think they do really care, but just don't want to face their flaws in an open and honest way. They'd rather be people who wear loafers all the time.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Cute things my six year old says and does

This is something I can just keep adding to, I think.

9-20-4 Gabe was washing his face in the bathroom and he come out and said, "I want to be a bully. Maybe some deodorant will help me." Then he went back in the bathroom and came back out and told my 15 yr. old son, "You are ugly, that's why I put deodorant on, so I can be a bully."

Then he took a towel and wiped his armpits off and said, "I'm not a bully any more."

Friday, September 17, 2004

Promises Kept

I didn't make any promises. It was a promise made by someone else to do negativation on me. I think my poem (below) explains everything.

Also, and this goes for everyone. If you use my toilet, after I've already told you it is low flow, and you see it is already compromised with toilet paper, at least try to clear that up before you do anything. Be especially mindful if you have something "important" to do.

Someone, who will remain nameless, did not heed this oft-stated advice and I had to deal with it. Not only that, I constantly remind people , or should I say, that person, to give a courtesly flush halfway through.

And that's all I'm going to say about this topic. Many of my detractors claim I talk too much about the bathroom.

Thursday, September 16, 2004


When you make a promise to a person, and that person is asking for that particular promise, it is fine to say you'll do it. But if the person asking for the promise happens to have all kinds of bleeding in the brain and the brain is becoming necrotic, the promise shouldn't stick after the person dies.

If someone makes such a request that would affect someone else's life in a negative way, and the financial well-being of their family, you should take into consideration that the requester was obviously not in his right mind.

20 months

I am willing to write off the last 20 months of bad life, if only there was a promise that I'd get 20 extra at the end. I wish I could know now. That way I can decide not to be a bitter woman. I am perilously close to being one. It is very unattractive.

Menopause is winking at me and I'd really like to dive into that one with a light heart and good humor. I will write a little poem:

You would not want to be hated
And thought of like a slob
Stuck in my closet all cremated
Cause you messed up my job

You could be up there on the mantel
Where everyone could gaze
With knick knacks and a dusty candle
And some dead flowers in a vase

What you told him wasn't true
Those lies you told your friend
I was just trying to save you
From a reckless driving end

Give me a full time job please

I want a full time job. I need a pension to look forward to while I suffer from the aging process. It would really cheer me up.