Sunday, December 19, 2004

Movie Review - Melvin goes to Dinner

I saw the movie this afternoon on the "on demand" thing on tv. I can only use that feature on the big living room tv. It doesn't work on all the other tv's. Just the big one. Go figure.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I got the name right. It is some movie title with a guy with an old-timey name and something about dinner. It has a lot to do with a dinner conversation. It was an easily accessible pseudo-intelligent conversation, so I could pretty much follow it without getting a headache.

The men were not good-looking, but they were not so ugly as to be distracting. There was a waitress that was way more inept and non-people-personish than I ever was, so that was comforting. There was generous drinking involved.

The smart nurse with the drinking problem on ER played the sister of one of the diners. I don't think she is a nurse in real life, and she did not play one in this movie.
The bill sat at the table for a long time and I was very curious about who was going to pay for it. I can't tell you what happened to the bill because I decided to go to Target for a few items and didn't see the end.

I spent more than I thought I would at Target, but it was all stuff that I needed except who really needs pink fishnet tights? Maybe I do. I have what to wear with them, so yes, I do need them.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Movie Review - Sideways

"Sideways" is a movie that I saw while it was still at the movies. I'm glad I saw that, as opposed to spending money on a crappier movie that I could wait for on dvd, or someone else paying my way.

This was a funny movie with a lot of drinking. It made me feel like having a drink. I actually did have a few drinks since I've seen the movie. Well, its been a couple weeks, so you can imagine that I've had quite a few since then.

It was a "buddies on the road" flick where one guy is good looking and the other isn't.
The good looking one wasn't super hot but the less attractive one was so shi*ty looking that is was easy to be the hot one.

The hot one used to be on a tv show that didn't last too long. He played a man. And he was living with, or married to a woman. They didn't like each other but for two stupid tv reasons, they had to be married. Of course, the sexual tension of working together on tv increased over the couple of seasons the show lasted and you know. It was like Nanny, but not as side-splitting.

The other guy was someone I kind of forgot. I know I've seen him play unattractive characters before but I don't remember where. I could look him up, but then that would take away from the review's authenticity.

There was a famous actress in the movie, but not so famous that I remember her name.
I'll stop here before I give away the whole thing.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Movie Review- Polar Express

I saw this movie recently so I would rather not comment. It would be unfair to those who have not seen it, since my review would be biased by the experience.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Jonny Depp's new movie

Johnny Depp has a movie coming out called something like, "Looking For" or "Searching For" - "Neverland."
He plays the guy who wrote Peter Pan. Although there is no out and out S.E.X., there are many scenes where you can make out his form from the back. I can't really tell what's going on in the other area, but I can guess. I just think he is not a large man, although I doubt he's too small. I'm guessing it's something you don't have to really worry about. He makes up for it. You gals know what I'm saying.

Depp's character likes kids and takes an interest in some pretty lady's kids. I don't think it is an unhealthy pervaholic interest. It's just a man that's a little sensitive. I don't think he is too much like that in real life. Maybe a little, but I don't think he's a crier. I hate when men cry. If I wanted to be with someone that cried, I'd marry one of my own.

The boy in whom Depp takes a healthy and hetero interest has some problems. The problems are solved because Johnny provides him with something that was missing. Depp also spends time sitting on a bench in neatly creased pants and he is not wearing underwear, although there is no way of knowing.

I will be seeing this movie soon and if it differs in any way from the review, I will own up to it.

Four stars to Depp's performance. Three stars for the script.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Eating dinner

Here's a tip for kids. If you are too full to eat any more chicken, then you are too full for ice cream.
Also, if you are gonna pee in bed, pee in your own bed. That's what it's for.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Runnin' for the bus

I used to work downtown and the bus service in my town isn't so frequent, like say, a place with good bus service, etc. So, when I went to catch my bus, I had to run. I'm not much of a "keep yourself in shape and exercise and don't drink" kind of person. So I wasn't used to running.

Anyway, and I'm not saying this happened to me, but did this happen to you? Some people, and they know who they are, even if they don't say so, pass gas when they run. So that discourages those people from doing public exercise. I'm not even sure I'm spelling the word exercise right.
What goes on in the gyms if the gas thing is more common than I think. I'm staying out.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Looking for a doctor

Can anyone give me the name of a good plastic surgeon? I would like to have my fifth (pinky) toe removed on each foot for cosmetic purposes. I don't know anyone around here that has had this extra toe removed.

It is probably a more "big city" kind of procedure. Nobody I talk to seems to care what their feet look like in a nice shoe. They have "more important things to worry about." Like what, I don't know.I think they do really care, but just don't want to face their flaws in an open and honest way. They'd rather be people who wear loafers all the time.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Cute things my six year old says and does

This is something I can just keep adding to, I think.

9-20-4 Gabe was washing his face in the bathroom and he come out and said, "I want to be a bully. Maybe some deodorant will help me." Then he went back in the bathroom and came back out and told my 15 yr. old son, "You are ugly, that's why I put deodorant on, so I can be a bully."

Then he took a towel and wiped his armpits off and said, "I'm not a bully any more."

Friday, September 17, 2004

Promises Kept

I didn't make any promises. It was a promise made by someone else to do negativation on me. I think my poem (below) explains everything.

Also, and this goes for everyone. If you use my toilet, after I've already told you it is low flow, and you see it is already compromised with toilet paper, at least try to clear that up before you do anything. Be especially mindful if you have something "important" to do.

Someone, who will remain nameless, did not heed this oft-stated advice and I had to deal with it. Not only that, I constantly remind people , or should I say, that person, to give a courtesly flush halfway through.

And that's all I'm going to say about this topic. Many of my detractors claim I talk too much about the bathroom.

Thursday, September 16, 2004


When you make a promise to a person, and that person is asking for that particular promise, it is fine to say you'll do it. But if the person asking for the promise happens to have all kinds of bleeding in the brain and the brain is becoming necrotic, the promise shouldn't stick after the person dies.

If someone makes such a request that would affect someone else's life in a negative way, and the financial well-being of their family, you should take into consideration that the requester was obviously not in his right mind.

20 months

I am willing to write off the last 20 months of bad life, if only there was a promise that I'd get 20 extra at the end. I wish I could know now. That way I can decide not to be a bitter woman. I am perilously close to being one. It is very unattractive.

Menopause is winking at me and I'd really like to dive into that one with a light heart and good humor. I will write a little poem:

You would not want to be hated
And thought of like a slob
Stuck in my closet all cremated
Cause you messed up my job

You could be up there on the mantel
Where everyone could gaze
With knick knacks and a dusty candle
And some dead flowers in a vase

What you told him wasn't true
Those lies you told your friend
I was just trying to save you
From a reckless driving end

Give me a full time job please

I want a full time job. I need a pension to look forward to while I suffer from the aging process. It would really cheer me up.